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Pick Yourself

Pick YourselfWhy do certain kids always get picked last in gym class?

Why do certain employees always get skipped over for promotion?

Why does life seem to present opportunities to some while it appears to ignore others?

My analysis is that it’s because those individuals would never pick themselves. If you’re not willing to pick yourself, neither are your peers. Doors close. Opportunities slip away. You’re last again.

If you want a spot on the team, if you want the job or the promotion, and if you want the once in a lifetime opportunities you have to be willing to pick yourself. Completely. Without a doubt.

Are you willing to pick yourself? Be honest.

Free Your Feet

If you didn’t already know, I’m anti-shoe. It’s not some hippie OWS thing, it’s a don’t-enjoy-needless-injuries thing. I take showers, I promise.

I’ve talked a bit about why I don’t like shoes, but nothing explains it quite as well as a well-made infographic. This, in a nutshell, is why I am waging a strike against shoes and why you should join me:

Free Your Feet
Courtesy X Ray Technician Schools

Do you have knee pain? Hip pain? Lower back pain? Other lower body joint discomfort? It’s almost certainly your shoes!

Where Am I?

Obviously the post rate has slowed down here, but it’s for good reason. I’m writing my manifesto for the martial arts industry called No More Mediocrity. My goal is to have it wrapped up by the end of December, but that will mean less posting frequency on the blog.

No More Mediocrity is a manifesto that I’ve been contemplating for some time now. It’s a project that has stopped and started over the last year. Parts of it are controversial and challenge both the industry as well as my immediate teaching and business situation. For that reason, I have stalled a few times while writing it, unsure of whether I should actually make my thoughts public.

I’ve firmly decided that I must be true to my beliefs and share them. The martial arts industry needs to shift directions or it will cease to exist as a legitimate industry and I care too much about my students and my future to stand by and watch that happen without stepping up and trying to influence a different outcome.

So please stand by while I finish this project. I will still post articles sporadically, but understand that volume will be severely affected while I focus on shipping this important collection of ideas. Thanks for being a reader and thanks for supporting me!

Being Intentional

The sign of a great fighter is her ability to be intentional. Every technique, every transition, every feint and fake, every counter, and every action in the ring is deliberate. She controls the opponent by controlling the ring, by adjusting the distance, and by pacing the match. What she does she does on purpose; nothing, including her victory, is accidental. That is the level of composure and calculation it takes to become a champion.

Athletes become intentional through thousands of hours of practice and dedication. Through intense and prolonged training the athlete’s focus becomes razor-sharp and the depth of her understanding of each part of the game gets harder to quantify. This, along with her patience, her spirit, and her will to win are what set her apart.

Every martial artist should strive to be intentional, but the concept of being intentional is not just applicable to fighting. Being intentional is also the mark of a great human being. What can you do going forward to be an intentional friend, an intentional business person, an intentional husband or wife, an intentional teacher, and an intentional son or daughter?

This is what we mean when we talk about taking martial arts off of the mat and into the world. This is what the application of martial arts practice to our lives looks like. This type of thought should be the foundation for 21st century martial arts pedagogy.

Martial Arts Teachers — Come Share Ideas and Grow Your School!

Are you a martial arts teacher or school owner? I want to invite you to join me on Google+ for weekly “hangouts.” We’ll be discussing curriculum, marketing, pedagogy, growth, HR, and more! It’s free and it can help you grow your school.

What’s Google+?

Google+ is like a mix between Facebook, Twitter, and Skype. It’s a powerful social network and people are finding different ways to take advantage of its features. Google will soon be releasing business pages for Google+ which will potentially change the face of social network marketing for your school, which is another reason you need to be on Google+ and be involved in the group we’re starting over there.

What’s a hangout?

A “hangout” is Google’s term for a group video chat. You invite people on Google+ to a “hangout” and the technology allows you to have an online video meeting with up to 10 people. Pretty cool right?

How do I get invited to the next hangout?

If you want to receive an invitation to the next hangout, just follow the steps below:

  1. Get on the notification list.
  2. Follow me on Google+.
  3. Follow me on Twitter.
That’s it! As soon as we schedule the next hangout you’ll be the first to know about it!

Form Over Function Will Be the Downfall of Martial Arts

I’ve talked at length over the past few years about how the martial arts industry is shooting itself in the foot. I’ve written some of my points down (here’s 10 of them in one article, here’s one, and here’s another) and there’s still a lot more to come, including some big ones. In keeping with the theme, I’d like to expose another straw that’s been heaped on the camel’s back by martial arts schools across the globe, but especially here in the U.S.: form over function.

Thousands of years ago, martial arts was about function. People in many parts of the world needed it for survival. For many others it was about developing dominating hand-to-hand combat tactics for military personnel. Martial arts training in those times wasn’t a game, wasn’t a hobby, and certainly wasn’t a joke.

As you can imagine, modern-day citizens who live in relatively safe societies have different goals than their 2000 year old counterparts. We’re not interested in kicking people off horses and learning how to maim someone’s face with a Kama. Instead, we’re interested in not getting fat, teaching our kids discipline, focus, and respect, and participating in a sport/activity that engages us.

Because of this shift, many martial arts have switched gears and become martial sports. Brazilian Jiu Jitsu is growing wildly as a sport. Wrestling, Taekwondo, and Judo have all been adopted as Olympic sports. And mixed martial arts — a combination of dozens of arts — is gaining in mainstream popularity with no sign of slowing. In a major move, the UFC just signed a multiyear deal with Fox Sports.

I think that was a great move. Sports are popular. Sports have rules. Martial sports are exciting. And you can create a huge industry around sports. But what is the heart of a martial sport? It’s a physical competition against another human being. For martial sports, which are spawned by ancient arts that gave their practitioners nasty combat skills, the competition must center around combat. Taekwondo, Judo, Wrestling, Boxing, Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, and the UFC have all figured that out.

But thousands of schools around the globe are taking combat out of martial arts. They’re removing the function and replacing it with form. They’re taking something inherently useful to society and making it useless. They’ve removed all sparring and physical contact from the curriculum, they’re putting an emphasis on kata and forms patterns, they’re replacing combat with board breaking (and often not even using real boards), and they’re filling the gaps with games, fitness, and fluff.

Sparring is the most important aspect of martial arts in terms of function. It’s the only aspect of training that teaches you pin point timing, distance, feinting, the application of power and technique, and self-defense. But there are schools awarding Black Belts to students who have never participated in a single sparring match. It’s the equivalent of awarding NFL contracts to people who have only played flag football.

“…there are schools awarding Black Belts to students who have never participated in a single sparring match. It’s the equivalent of awarding NFL contracts to people who have only played flag football.”

The industry can’t survive the long-term repercussions of this. It’s a cancer. When you give Black Belts to students who can’t spar, you create future instructors who can’t spar. These instructors are impotent as teachers of the next generation. The side effects are students who have a false sense of security and an industry knee-deep in mediocrity and empty martial arts curriculum. And that kills long-term profit.

The industry has already damaged itself enough. The industry associations are encouraging schools to remove sparring from their curriculums because it results in higher dropout rates. But I’ve already explained why only bad teachers water down curriculum. Real teachers prepare the student for the path, not the path for the student.

Martial arts training is about function and removing the functional aspects is akin to removing the soul of the martial art you teach. Scrubbing out the most challenging parts of your curriculum may help short-term retention, but good luck surviving when nobody wants your product because it no longer has any function. If this trend becomes more widespread, the industry will suffer another major body blow to its reputation. And at this point, I’m not sure how many more of those we can survive.

Unsolicited Advice, Worrying About Yourself, and Learning Boundaries

I can’t go a single day without multiple students worrying about what other students are doing in class; not in an inquisitive way but more in a I’m the boss and I didn’t authorize that kind of way. Worry about yourself.

I can’t go a single day without a fellow adult giving me some sort of advice that I didn’t ask for. If you have a pulse, you’ve probably shared the same experience. And depending on who your friends and family are, you might have that experience far more or far less often. Nobody wants unsolicited advice.

The best tip I ever heard about behavior was don’t be yourself. It’s not right to act a fool, say whatever comes to your mind, do whatever action pops in your head, and then excuse it all away with: well that’s just me. Bridle yourself.

All three of these things are common personal boundary violations and they’re disrespectful to others. A personal boundary is a marker of where I end and you begin. The basis for healthy communication and relationships is an understanding and a respect for boundaries.

Worrying about others implies that you have some sort of responsibility for that person. And while you are responsible for the wellbeing of others, the true extent of that responsibility is only to protect them from you. Kids are so responsible when it comes to what others are up to, even when they have absolutely no responsibility for themselves. It’s not cute or kind; they’re worried about others because they’re compelled to control them.

Giving unsolicited advice is when you give someone who isn’t listening counseling they didn’t ask for, offering recommendations you probably aren’t even following yourself. It’s relationally unhealthy because it communicates that you believe the person you’re advising (without consent) is weak, powerless, unable to make rational personal decisions, unable to deal with reality on their own accord, and unable to care-for or take responsibility for themselves. Without you, they’d be lost, lonely people. That may not define how you feel at the time, but how you feel about you and how other people feel about you doesn’t always align. Trust me, your unsolicited advice is not welcome.

Which brings us around to unbridled self-expression. You don’t like my worrying and my advice? That’s just who I am! You’re fabulous, I’m sure, but you’re out of control. Unbridled self-expression is the inability to censor your words and actions. Here’s how it feels to others: Someone walks up to you, throws up on your shoes, and walks away. Not cool.

We are not born with personal boundaries. They must be taught or learned. And kids learn best by observation. So as martial arts teachers and parents, it’s important for us to do two things: model healthy boundaries and teach healthy boundaries. Every. Chance. We. Get. Lest we create another generation of relationally unhealthy adults.

Mobility Training for Increased Performance and Decreased Injury

Kelly Starrett is an interesting human being. He’s a genius when it comes to physical therapy, mobility, performance, and recovery and I’ve enjoyed learning from him over the past few weeks as I began studying the concepts of mobility training for my competition athletes.

Performance suffers as mobility declines and Kelly teaches athletes how to heal themselves and do routine maintenance so they can perform like well-oiled machines. He’s introduced me to stretches and other techniques that seem alien to me, but have the potential to change the game as far as mobility, flexibility, and recovery go.

Here’s an example that’s obviously relevant to martial arts:

That’s just the beginning.

Mobility and flexibility/stretching may seem like the same thing, but as Kelly notes:

Stretching only focuses on lengthening short and tight muscles. Mobilization, however, is a movement-based integrated full-body approach that addresses all the elements that limit movement and performance including short and tight muscles, soft tissue restriction, joint capsule restriction, motor control problems, joint range of motion dysfunction, and neural dynamic issues. In short, mobilization is a tool to globally address movement and performance problems.

One change I’ve already made is to throw away the static stretching most martial arts schools do at the beginning of class. Static stretching decreases explosiveness, speed, and overall performance with no clear reduction in risk of injury. So out with the old (static stretching) and in with the new (dynamic stretching).

I’ve also started introducing some of the mobility training, slowly but surely. There’s some great stretches, but a lot of the cool stuff requires working with a Rumble Roller, stretch band, and some lacrosse balls. I got this mobility training pack at Rogue Fitness that includes the Rumble Roller, Lacrosse Balls, and a physical therapy stretch band for less than $100. They’re wonderful tools of pain and agony that I can use to work a ton of these mobility concepts on both myself, my students, and my competition athletes.

While the pain is real, so are the results. I’ve already noticed a huge difference in the little time that I’ve been working on this stuff. And the better you get at it, the less pain you experience. It actually starts to feel good and the information you receive about your body (what’s working and what’s not) is invaluable to performance. Being able to fix the trouble spots will undoubtedly give you a leg up on the competition.

Side Note: Don’t forget, the deadline for my Insanity 60 day challenge is only 5 days from now. Accept the challenge at Team Fitness Challenges.

The Top Predictor of Student Success Once They Graduate

I’ve hit 100 posts! (Oh, you need to be part of the tribe by now! If you’re not, what are you waiting for?) And with that, I’ll direct my 101st post to an old post by Tim Elmore that I wanted to highlight here:

Let me ask you a question. Do you know what single ingredient can foreshadow a student’s success once they graduate more than any other? This may surprise you. It is the ability to manage emotions.

When emotional intelligence was first discovered, it served as the missing link in a peculiar finding — people with the highest levels of intelligence (IQ) outperform those with average IQs just 20% of the time, while those with average IQs outperform those with high IQs 70% of the time. This abnormality threw a monkey wrench into what many assumed was the source of success: IQ. Scientists began to pursue another ingredient to explain this — and years of research and countless studies pointed to the factor we now understand as: EQ or emotional intelligence.

Read the rest of this article at Tim’s site, Growing Leaders.

Unlocking Real Black Belt Thinking

Photo Credit: Manuel Madeira

An important part of personal development, nurturing and maintaining healthy relationships, and being a functional adult is having the ability to diagnose your thoughts, feelings, and attitudes and eventually make adjustments to them.

All too often people’s thoughts and feelings are distorted versions of reality. And living within this distortion creates a breakdown in self-esteem and relationships.

Here’s a list of 15 distorted thoughts I’ve taken from a great family and emotions lecture series; see if you can identify with any of them. When you develop the ability to identify these distortions from day to day, you can begin to correct them.

  1. Being Right: You are continually on trial to prove that your opinions and actions are correct. Being wrong is unthinkable and you will go to any length to demonstrate your rightness or reality.
  2. Blaming: You hold other people responsible for your pain or you take the other extreme and blame yourself for every problem or reversal.
  3. Catastrophizing: You expect disaster. You notice or hear about a problem and start what ifs: “What if tragedy strikes?” “What if it happens to me?”
  4. Control Fallacies: If you believe you’re externally controlled, you see yourself as a helpless victim of fate. If you live in an internal control fallacy, you believe you are responsible for the pain and/or happiness of everyone around you.
  5. Emotional Reasoning: You believe that what you feel must be true–automatically. If you feel stupid and boring then you must be stupid and boring.
  6. Fallacy of Change: You expect that other people will change to suit you if you just pressure or cajole them enough. You need to change people because your hopes for happiness seem to depend entirely on them.
  7. Fallacy of Fairness: You are resentful because you think you know what’s fair and other people won’t agree with you.
  8. Filtering: You take the negative details and magnify them while filtering out all positive aspects of a situation.
  9. Global Labeling: You generalize one or two qualities into a negative global judgement.
  10. Heaven’s Reward Fallacy: You expect all your sacrifice and self-denial to pay off, as if there was someone keeping score. You feel bitter when the reward doesn’t come.
  11. Mind Reading: Without their saying so, you know what people are feeling and why they act the way they do. In particular, you are able to decide how people are feeling toward you.
  12. Over-Generalization: You come to a general conclusion based on a single incident or piece of evidence. If something bad happens once, you expect it to happen over and over again.
  13. Personalization: Thinking that everything people do or say is some kind of reaction to you. You also compare yourself to others, trying to determine who is smarter, better looking, etc.
  14. Polarized Thinking: Things are always black or white and good or bad. You have to be perfect or you’re a failure. There is no middle ground or gray area; ambiguity is impossible for you.
  15. Shoulds: You have a list of ironclad rules about how you and others should act. You feel angry with people who break the rules and you feel guilty if you violate the rules.

The world around you is a series of positive, neutral, and negative events. Your thoughts are interpretations of these events; also known as your internal dialogue. Your feelings are created by your internal dialogue. Understanding this is powerful because most people believe their feelings are determined by actual events; but emotional response only comes after your internal dialogue has processed the events and given them meaning.

Recognizing distorted thinking goes a long way toward changing your emotional response to external circumstances and events, helping you maintain positive and healthy relationships, and remaining in a functional state of mind.

As martial arts training works to lead students toward self-mastery, we would be negligent as teachers to not marry important real-world concepts such as this with our martial arts curriculum.

Bookmark this list so you can come back to it in the future. This shouldn’t be a one-time read. And if you think this information would benefit others, don’t forget to share!

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